| Today God revealed to me a sin that has been festering in my soul. I always said that I didn't want to be like my father. My father who is a typical korean ahjussi. Loud, stubborn, hardworking. He always had a temper. His voice would rise if something didn't go his way, or if we moved too slow. He never hit me and my brother, but his voice smacked us in the face. He would work all day long and then sit in front of the tv. Too tired to do anything. Not paying attention to us. We were invisible. I didn't want to be like my father, heck, I wanted the best traits of my parents, but I don't think there's any picking or choosing. Its all-or-nothing. So many of my sins are being shown to me, and I constantly forget that they are truly sins. Sins that need repenting and forgiveness. My temper has always gotten the best of me. Like my father I would react before thinking and always regret my words, my actions or my emotions. There is no filter that my actions or words go through were my emotions are triggered. Today, reacting in such a way, made me mad. At first I was very mad. Very emotional. Very.... stupid. Then I calmed down and regretted the words out of my mouth. I need to stop. God. Help me. Please. I'm drowning in........ this sinful world...... Please, hold my hand. |
| |
| Lord, my focus is too easily distracted from You
on to lesser things. Please draw me back to Your ways
and teach me what’s most important.
May I learn to always put You first. Amen. http://odb.org/2011/06/18/getting-focused/ |
| |
| Today I heard a sermon from my pastor about lukewarm christians. I have heard this sermon before in different situations. I don't know why but today it really got to me (?). I was thinking about this situation before. Am I a lukewarm christian? What kind of christian am I? It made me think, and I think it was good. Being bitter about something not being fair isn't what Jesus would have wanted. I need to pray and be loving and forgiving, but sometimes I get confused and angry. The world isn't fair most of the time. People are usually satisfied when justice is served, but usually justice isn't served and the cheaters and short cut takers have a better time and a better life with all the perks that hard working people deserve to have. I pray that I could have a loving heart towards everybody and be a loving person. In Jesus' name I pray amen. |
| |
| I hate feeling insufficient for people because i know i'm not. |
| |